Once upon a time, there were a few Blops who weren't quite like the others. Washed up on the beaches of Gnashville, these gelatinous little creatures learned to sing with a bit of help from Ardwin, the infamous voice thief. Some, like Blopgang Amadeus Blopzart, developed the art of singing far beyond those first little ditties, even to the point of putting together a full-fledged orchestra…
♪ AH! Ah AH! Ah AH ah ah ah AHHH!
OH! Oh OH! Oh OH oh oh oh OHHH!
AH aaah! AH ah ah AH ah aaaaaah!
Ah AH ah AH ah aaaaaah!
EH eh eh EH eh ehhh…* ♫
Blopgang Amadeus Blopzart suddenly stopped, and signaled to the other Blops to do the same. He glared at them in frustration.
"No, no, NO! Beblop, you're completely off the rhythm, what on earth is wrong with you, my dear boy?"
The young Blop simply rolled his eyes and let out a long sigh by way of response.
"If I'm boring you, just say so!"
"You're boring me."
Blopgang recoiled. Never before had anyone ever shown him such blatant disrespect. Not to him, the illustrious Blop composer, with his undisputed talent and his much-envied musical ear.
"I beg your pardon?!"
"You're bo-o-r-r-r-ing! What, is this guy deaf too? Seems weird for someone who's always bragging about having the most delicate eardrums in the whole port of Gnashville…"
"Have you quite lost your mind, my friend?!"
The others were completely dumbfounded. Blopgang was indisputably the most respected Blop musician of all time. His talent was recognized throughout the World of Twelve. Adventurers came from all four corners of the Krosmoz (even though it's actually egg-shaped) to experience the concertos and chorales he'd been conducting ever since he met Ardwin, the voice thief.
"It's just… I'm so tired of all this 'Ah', Oh', and 'Eh' stuff… Don't you ever feel like changing to a different tune? It's like, OK, we know this one already!"
"Not so fast, young man! What have you got against Eyena Kleyna Nartmoozik? It's the reason why hundreds of Twelvians come to see us every day, so I think you can show it a bit of respect!"
"Because we've never given them any other options, that's all! Did you ever think of just going with your gut? You know, right here… Way down in the bottom of your belly…"
Beblop patted his stomach as he spoke. It started wobbling like a big bowl of jelly, and the other musicians started to laugh…
"I must be dreaming! Do you really suppose I used my intestines to write The Marriage of Figablop? Or The Bloppic Flute? Maybe that one came from listening to my big toe? No? Of course not, because for one thing, I don't have any, and neither do you! And for another thing, let me remind you that blop music is a serious and rigorous discipline, young Beblop! It takes hard work, focus, melodious and well-balanced chords, a diatonic scale, a chromatic scale, and singing in unison, and fourths, and fifths, and all sorts of other things too! Wait… what are you hiding behind your back?"
Caught off-guard, Beblop suddenly didn't seem so tough. Everyone stared at him. Blopgang walked over to his student and snatched a strange instrument from his hands. It looked a bit like a flute, but much larger, and with an enormous funnel at one end.
"What is this… thing?"
"A saxblophone," replied the young Blop, with just the slightest quiver in his voice.
"And I suppose you're going to tell me that this monstrosity is going to revolutionize the world of Blop music? Don't make me laugh!"
♪Tsssi, tsssi-tsssi, tsssi-tsssiii!
Blopgang spun around quickly. Another musical Blop was tapping on a sort of round, slightly concave metal tray, using some kind of baton with little rods at the end. All while enthusiastically wiggling his blop, of course…
"What on earth…?"
Blopgang was disconcerted. The other Blops couldn't resist bobbing their heads to the rhythm, as though they were hypnotized by this new sound.
"What… Don't tell me you're starting up with this too! And what's THAT thing?!"
♫Ch-tong! Bolong blong ch-tong ch-tong bolong bonnng!
Another Blop had thrown his sheet music aside and climbed up onto his desk. From there, he could hold the top of the neck of a particularly enormous instrument. As he looked at it more closely, Blopgang realized that the Blop had simply cast a spell on his violin, which had grown two sizes larger and was now standing upright on the floor. The Blop was pulling and slapping at the strings to make a low-pitched and somewhat ungainly sound.
"You fool! Look what you've done to your violin! Have you all gone mad?!"
The other Blop started brushing his strange batons even more vigorously against the circular tray. Meanwhile, Beblop blew into his Saxblophone with all his might, shimmying about as if possessed by the almost sensual sound coming out of it.
Blopgang was beside himself. These fools were tearing Blop music to pieces! He screamed in distress and covered his ears. When suddenly…
♪ Ski-bi dibby dib yo da dub dub! Ba-da-ba-da-ba-be blop blop blodda blope! Blop ba blodda blope! ♫ "
The voice was smooth and enchanting, in a fast-paced and enticing style. Despite himself, Blopgang felt a strange shiver throughout his entire body. From the bottom of his feet to the top of his head… He was transfixed. Lula, his finest violinist, turned out to be a top-notch singer as well. Sounds like he'd never heard before. Normally, Blops could only manage to pronounce a few simple syllables at a time.
A strange whirlpool seemed to be forming deep in the conductor's belly. "It" made him feel tickly all over… And "it" felt as light as a Piwi feather. He suddenly understood what Beblop had been trying to tell him…
His guts spoke to him, in perfect unison with his heart.
For the first time in his entire career as a Blop orchestra conductor, Blopgang Amadeus Blopzart had found a completely different way to appreciate music. The Blop realized that, while rules were essential, spontaneity, passion, and even a touch of madness could make music even more magnificent.
Beblop had opened his eyes. And Lula's eyes had opened his heart… Thanks to them, Blopgang decided to start a totally revolutionary new musical movement that would allow Blop music to explore new horizons: the style known as Beblop.
And the story says that ever since they met, things between Blopgang and Lula have been really shebam, pow, blop, whiz!
Blopgang Amadeus Blopzart is your Boss Smasher for October! By now you know the score: This boss will make your life a symphony of pain. But if you think you can measure up, march on overto Brakmar from October 1st through the 31st to knock the wind out of him once and for all!
*To the tune of "Eine Kleine Nachtmusik" by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.